He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
