so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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