You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
