I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
