I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
