Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
