oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I intend to get homeless drunk
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
