Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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