My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
