"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
