Got a toothbrush?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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