Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
