Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
