saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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