morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
