I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
