I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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