3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
