So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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