Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
