I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
