My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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