how can u be prego again
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
