girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
