At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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