I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
