He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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