thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
