Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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