he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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