Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
