I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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