DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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