O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
