i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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