so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
