Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he puts the penis in happiness.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
What a dumb baby whore.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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