I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
