You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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