Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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