so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
