Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
