he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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