well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The beer is more important than you right now.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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