I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
