I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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