1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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