can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
