is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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