just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
