The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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