I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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