Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
