this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
