Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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