the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
