The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
