He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
