but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
