I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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