Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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