I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize