How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
