May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
