can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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