I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
